I was watching the Oprah Show. Oprah was interviewing Lisa Niemi, the widow of Patrick Swayze who died six weeks ago of pancreatic cancer.  Oprah was asking Lisa the lessons learned during their 22 month journey from diagnosis to last breath.

Oprah asked, “What is the most you learned?” Before Lisa answered, I heard these words repeat in my head: “It’s all about love. It’s all about love. It’s all about love.”  Tears were prompted remembering that only a few hours earlier the voice in my head was harping on some petty thing my husband had done or not done that I felt he should have done different. In that moment, I was not thinking about love. I was fixated on my petty opinion. 

But in the moment I am listening to the interview, I am reminded that when the love of my life is gone, all that will be remembered is the love. So why do I forget? Why do I allow myself to get distracted and drawn in to the day to day pettiness? Just to notice that I do, is BIG.  When I don’t notice, I get lost in the pettiness putting so much importance on something that is so unimportant. But when I become aware that I am being swallowed up by pettiness, that I am being separated from the warmth, comfort and peace of love, then I have choice. I can change direction and merge into the love that is always present. 

Lisa’s answer to Oprah’s question was, “Do it now!” She was referring to living in the moment, making each moment count. Your moments with someone are limited; your own life is borrowed and then you move on. Coping with change and loss is part of our life-journey. No one escapes.  It is the support from family and friends that get us through the tough times.  Lisa praised the devotion of her girlfriends to be there when she needed them. 

The entire interview with Lisa is posted on Oprah’s website with pictures: http://www.oprah.com/article/seriesandspecials/previousshows/pkgscreeningroom/20091030-tows-lisa-niemi-patrick-swayze  Lisa and Patrick co-authored a book about Patrick’s career as an actor and the ups and downs of their extraordinary relationship, The Time of My Life, published Sept 2009.

F.Y.I.  Long time subscribers know that I have consistently posted an article every week for years. But recently life has expanded and time to write has shrunk. I have many unwritten articles in my head with very little time to put fingers to computer keyboard but that too will change.

Until you return, fill your days with GIGGLES, JOY, and APPRECIATION!

Sylvia Silk, D.D. Director of the Institute For Balanced Living, Los Angeles, CA, USA
Doctor of Divinity, Spiritual Coach, Reconnective Healing Practitioner, Writer